Two questions that will change your self-care story forever!

One day several years ago it hit me …

I was teaching kindergarten and my boys were 2 and 5.  Life was C. R. A.Z. Y.!  I had just started back to school for my Masters degree in School Counseling and was commuting and hour each way into Boston 2 nights a week.  On top of all that I was working on my 75 page Independent Research Project that was all about Adolescent Grief and Parental Loss.  Not a chipper topic. This was all pre-laptop with 2 toddlers!  I'm talking floppy disks!

I remember sitting in my classroom one morning while the students were beginning to move into their learning centers, and realizing that some days were definitely and predictably better than others!  Some days I was easily more patient, available, supportive, energetic, and loving to all around me.  That day was one of the good days.  But what surprised me is that I realized it had very little to do with the students or my children, and everything to do with me.  

I knew there were things I could do to bring my best self to work and life each day.

You see, I dedicated that weekend to my own self-care.  I had been craving alone time in nature, so I woke early and took a short ride to a local lake to sit at a picnic table and watch the sunrise.  Then I came home and cut up fruit and the boys and I enjoyed decadent fruit and yogurt sundaes.  I took time that Sunday night to lay out my clothes, pack some healthy snacks and get to bed by 10 pm, and this is what made all of the difference that Monday morning!

I suddenly realized that my patience and ease depended on how I cared for myself and how I had filled my cup, not on my students, family, or even the traffic on the way to work.  

Once I began assessing my needs on a regular basis and following through  building reserves of what nourished and strengthened me, I found I could manage whatever life presented.

This is how the Balance Reserves that I teach and write about were created, and in order to determine exactly what you need at any time I have two power questions that I want to share with you.  They are the same questions I have taught 100’s of people in my live Balance Before Burnout Live Workshop for the last 10 years, and they are the same ones I still use personally to fine tune my own self-care.   The answers are universal, but only you know what you need at any moment.  I call them Balance Reserves, because when you build these up, you are more resilient to the inevitable stress that life may bring.

So, what are the two questions that will change your self-care story forever?

• First, ask yourself, “What are the things I need in my life, so that when I have enough of them, I am better able to handle the inevitable stressors in my life? 
• Then, from the other direction ask, “What are the things that when I don’t have them in my life, I have a really hard time handling the stressors that pop up? 
• Next, make a list of your answers.  These are all what I call Balance Reserves and adding in activities that build these into your day to day routine is the secret to finding “Balance Before Burnout”.  
• Finally sign up below and I’ll send you Three Key Tools that I use to organize my Balance Reserves.  The Balance Reserve Power Question Sheet, The Balance Reserve Map, and The Balance Reserve Planning Tool.  

With these three pdf’s you will identify your most important Balance Reserves and build a step by step action plan to put them into your daily schedule.  I have used these for the past 10 years in my workshops and personally, because they are simple and they work.  Sign up now to get yours! 

What really strengthens you?

What if I told you that instead of focusing on your weaknesses and working hard on improving them, you should first focus on your strengths and do more of them?

How would that feel?

What if you could shift yourself to see all of your amazing strengths and build on them...celebrate them...more of them?

Wouldn’t that be amazing? 

I believe there are things we definitely can work on to improve, but sometimes it just makes more sense to delegate or ask for help from someone who can do it better, faster and with more joy.

How much time do you spend on things that truly strengthen you?  Do you even know what they are?  Is it time in nature?  Time with family? Time alone?  Are you energized when cooking a delicious, healthy meal or does that drain you?

Asking yourself what brings you strength is an important step to your self-care and asking for help with what doesn’t is just as important!

So, your assignment is to take some time to reflect on what gives you strength.  Then, think about what takes away your strength or depletes you.  Finally, find some creative ways to add more of what does and less of what doesn’t.  How can you delegate? 

Feeling stuck?  Try this with a friend and see if you have some things you could swap? Not all of us are fed by the same activities.  Maybe there is something you enjoy to do that your friend doesn't and vice versa.

 I’d love to hear what you discover, so please share in the comments below or comment over on the Facebook Page at https://www.facebook.com/wholewomanwholeyou/.