So today my car was hit in the parking lot of my school before I could even get to a spot. All of the dangerous highway miles I commute daily, minutes from arriving safe and sound, and boom, this guy hits me directly in my rear driver's side tire.
Understandably, I was quite shaken up. The force of the hit jolted the car, and I was certain the damage was bad. Trembling, I got out and examined the damage, only to find to deep gouges on the hub caps and a small dent in the panel near the tire. I was amazed, baffled really, by the lack of visual damage.
I called in to the officers on duty, while the gentleman who had just dropped his daughter off apologized. We both gathered our paperwork for the report and again he apologized. I could tell in my heart he was truly sorry and I really tried to stay calm and hold my emotions that were bubbling up. I wanted to blame, judge, even yell, but instead remained as calm as I could and thanked God for the outcome.
The situation was not an easy one for me, though, because although the damage appeared to be minimal, my nervous system and body disagreed. For them this was serious sh**. Once the adrenaline wore off, I was shaking and close to tears. People asked if I was okay and if my car was okay, and I didn't know how to answer. On the outside we both looked fine, but on the inside, I wasn't so sure. Was my axel damaged? Was the tire bent? Was I suffering from whiplash? Was I gonna break down into a pool of tears?
You see, I am a counselor at an urban high school and I am used to being the comforter. And the situations I am comforting are usually much more traumatic than this. So who was I to feel so much? I felt like I should suck it up and go on with my day, but in the end I couldn't, and thankfully, I have an administrator who saw that, and honored my experience and pain. All those unknowns were too much for me. So I left shortly after the police completed their work to check on my vehicle and rest my body and soul.
I share the story as an example of how even when things could be worse, even when things appear to be alright on the outside, we need to care and honor how we feel and move through with gentle love and patience. I had to forgive the man. I had to admit my fear without giving in to the worry, until I had the answers. In a way I had to care for myself for what had happened, without feeding in to worst case scenarios. The reality was enough for me to slow down and heal. There will be times when you feel that your self-care is not necessary or truly warranted, but please believe that you deserve it. The secret is always to think of what you'd tell a friend to do ... probably not, "Suck it up!" Be that friend!