Through-out all of my work with busy, caring women and of course my own life experiences, I have found that there are several signs that we are in need of some big loving and self-care. These signals start out as temporary, but if untreated can turn into entrenched habits if we continue to deny ourselves of the rest and self-care we really need.
The problem is that many of us still believe that self-care is selfish, costs too much, takes too much time, or should come last after you have taken care of everyone else!
Guess what, we are no good to anyone if we are run-down, depleted, and burnt out. We can’t possibly give the loving, intentional caring energy we wish to give to others if we can’t give that to ourselves. We have nothing left to give. It is all about energy. Loving energy. And frankly if you are showing some of these signs, you're probably not too pleasant to be around … even for yourself.
So what are the signs that it is time for a heavy dose of self-care?
1. You have no patience.
This is no surprise; I know you know what ‘m talking about. When we don’t take care of ourselves, we have less patience with our friends and family. Little things push our buttons, even simple tasks.
1. You are increasingly sarcastic.
When you are feeling worn down you get snappy with those that you come in contact with and you don’t give them the respect that they deserve. This often creates a negative reaction from others that can spiral.
2. You worry excessively.
When you overwhelmed and trying to control everything, you can often become prone to overwhelming fear and worry. If you convince yourself that you are responsible for it all, then inevitably you will feel like something will be left undone, or messed up. And it will be all your fault.
3. You have low energy.
Pushing through without self-care breaks can cause adrenal overload and eventually drain your energy and cause you to crash. There’s only so much energy you can expend without taking in some nourishment … for the soul.
4. You feel stuck.
Poor self-care can lead to lack of hope and joy in your daily living. While giving to others definitely brings joy, there is also a time for caring for you and finding ways to renew.
5. You can’t shake a sense of sadness.
When you forget to love yourself, you lose a sense of who you are. This sense of lack of identity and control can bring on waves of sadness.
6. You have an increased desire to be alone.
If you give to others and never to yourself you may have issues with boundaries and setting limits. You start to feel that you everyone needs something from. If you are with others you should be giving and doing. Only alone can you rest, so you start pulling away from the people you love the most.
7. You’ve become extra critical or judgmental of yourself and others.
If you give, give, give to others you may create unrealistic expectations and sense of responsibility towards them. With this often comes a critical eye… a sense that you are in charge or owed something. You worry more about others and their choices instead of being able to focus on your own self and actions.
8. You lack motivation.
Lack of self-care can cause burnout which can cause a lack of motivation. If you do not follow a self-care regiment, you can find yourself in peaks and valleys. Your motivation can’t sustain itself if you’re energy is not fed and lack of motivation can lead to many other problems at home and at work.
9. You’ve developed physical symptoms or illness.
When you give without taking care to replenish and feed your body and soul, you will become ill.
10. You begin to resent those you are meant to love.
This is the worst. When you give to only others without realizing that you are also meant to love and care for yourself, you can be setting up a false expectation that others have no idea about. The idea that there is always an equal exchange of love and caring, but it can’t always be that way.