A quote from Charles Horton says,
To get away from one's working environment, is in a sense to get away from one's self; and this is often the chief advantage of travel and change.
I also believe that "getting away", brings us back to our self ... our true self. Disconnecting from our routines and norms also disconnects us from our defined persona. Quiet time alone allows us to be more introspective and reconnect with who we really are, not just the roles we fill.
But, getting away on a personal retreat can be challenging for some, especially those who need it most, and will undoubtedly bring up unexpected feelings. If you truly want to feel the benefit of this time alone, it is imperative to go with the flow, and feel through these feelings. They are part of the journey and all of the growth. So what will you feel?
1. Discomfort
If you're not used to being totally alone, it may feel very uncomfortable at first. You won't have the needs of others directing your actions, and making decisions just for you will feel foreign. When was the last time you only needed to meet your own needs? The quiet might also be a bit strange in the beginning, until you tune in to your heart. It has been looking for this opportunity to have you're undivided attention!
2. Guilt
No matter how well cared for others are, while you are gone, you are bound to feel some guilt. You will see things you want to share with them and do things you know they would love. You will be wondering if all is well on the home front ... and it most likely is! Ride with this, and release it. It is all part of the process.
3. Fear
For those of us who are constantly surrounded by others, being totally alone can be disconcerting. It may even bring up irrational childhood fears of the Boogie Man in your closet. This is normal. Take the time to acclimate. Find ways to comfort yourself the way you would a child. Use a night light, journal a pepe talk, whatever it takes.
4. Distracted
You finally have this time alone and now what? How will you use it? What if you waste it? Should you _____? Or, should you _____? Or maybe you should _____? Try to let go of the idea that there is a right or wrong way to use your time. Reflect or your true purpose for this retreat. Ask yourself, "What would feel best in this moment?" And remember, this doesn't need to be your last retreat alone. Make a list of things you'd like to try next time.
5. Peace
Finally, you should begin to feel glimpses of peace - stop and relish them! Be in the moment. Journal what this feels like for you. Describe the circumstances, the sites, the smells, the sounds, etc. so that when things return to busy, you can recapture this amazing sense of peace through your senses.
6. Guilt
Oh, yes, the guilt probably will pop in again right about now. Let it go!
7. Wonder
Being alone in a new environment will bring up a sense of wonder about nature, life, and yourself. Feed that. Take walks. Go out in nature. Observe others. Feed this sense of wonder!
8. Strength
You are alone and you are great! Reflect on all that you do and appreciate your true strength. You are stronger than you can imagine. Appreciator this. Appreciate you!
9. Love
At some point you will be struck by an amazing sense of Love. Love for those you left at home, Love for yourself, Love for those you've lost, heck even Love for the strangers you encounter on your journey. With peace, comes clarity and our connection to others is magnified when we are alone. When we care for ourselves we can Love more freely.
10. Hope
Alone time will bring with it a sense of hope for the future. A hope that this feeling of grounded-ness can be found in your daily living. A hope for the future. You need not only hop that these feelings you encountered on this journey will transfer to your "real" life. Remember, you have the power to reclaim them at any time!